On Pain and Healing…

I’ve been wondering about pain lately. Pain of the heart mostly, and of course as you get older, one can’t help having to deal with bodily pains, such as sore legs as you walk up a flight of stairs, or struggling to get up from the floor if you venture to not use a chair. But physical aches and pains can perhaps be dealt with far more easily than the pain of the heart or soul. The latter kind of pain can afflict one far more intensely and deeply, and may leave lifelong scars. And it is sadly the sort of pain that we as human beings, can not avoid having to confront on a regular basis.

So I’ve been reflecting on whether one can “manage” and deal with this more complex type of pain. Can we for example, “make it go away”, “forget it” or even by some miracle “heal” it ? I have recently been listening to various accounts of pain ranging from broken hearts to broken hopes / dreams and even broken lives, so much so that it occurred to me, that we live in a world, where the majority of people are probably experiencing some kind of pain most of the time. Of course the underlying philosophical assumption is that pain is meant to allow people to appreciate the joys of life when they do happen, assuming they do, in some meaningful way, providing some relief from an unrelenting perpetuation of the pain.

I have had to deal with much pain in my own life. Death of loved ones, heartache and loss are all experiences which I am intimately familiar with. And whats worse is that I feel the pain of others very intensely too, without really trying to. Its not necessarily a bad thing though, because when you feel other’s pain at various levels, somehow your own pain becomes insignificant. 

The thing though is that pain is not really an ideal or natural way of being. Granted, its a state that many of us find ourselves in, a lot of the time, I would imagine though, that we actually need to heal and move beyond pain in order to live our lives. I wonder though how many of us do this successfully. For my part, I am trying to learn the art of healing. I am trying to remind myself that certain things that I mourn the loss of, were never right for me in the first place. I am trying to teach myself that no matter how bleak it looks, the sun will shine again, and that I will be able to see the lessons that I need to learn, because of the pain.

I have to confess though…I am not totally convinced about this healing business; sometimes its just too hard or too daunting, but it has to be done i guess. I just hope I don’t run out of ointment and plasters : )


5 Responses to On Pain and Healing…

  1. shafinaaz says:

    pain needs to be felt, to be understood, sit n listen to your pain as it works its way through your mind and speaks to you, so that you can make sense of where it comes from..

    thing is.. its a choice to suffer your pain or be empowered by the understanding of self that comes from working with it… i kno.. its all in theory and contemplation, i have yet to see the long term effects of working with it, but im just learning the ropes 🙂

    but you know,its totally awesome to come upon angels in human form who remind you of the energy of love that does in fact heal.. people like you 🙂 cos even wrapped in your own stuff, you always make time for your friends n loved ones..
    the love you give away always comes back to you, remember that. mwah!

  2. charouchick says:

    awww…Shafs, this is sooo shweet…..yeah I reckon, that when you try and help others get through their stuff, your own pain does kinda take a back seat…. I sometimes play the clown though, with the painted face, and do the whole song and dance, but going through pain is often a very private thing (well for me at least) …but I’m pretty good at dealing with it now…practice makes perfect !

  3. shafinaaz says:

    theres always chocolate brownies to work with 😛

  4. Shabash says:


    Thank you! what sticks out the most for me is that why have thoughts of embarrassment for not having my matters sorted when there are other that righy alongside me with similar questions

    one thing i doesnt feel comfortable to read is

    ‘I am trying to remind myself that certain things that I mourn the loss of, were never right for me in the first place’…..

    i ask who says it wasnt right? wheres the crystal ball? the experience was right at the time. esp if its produced even the sligest form of resilience or willingness to continue. despite the tired-ness. each time i say to myself… it wasnt right for me, it wasnt meant to be, something better will come my way…. im not letting what is real … what has actually happened just happen…. i also then ask whether i have any fortune-telling ability or am I some saint that knows whats right?

  5. charouchick says:

    @ shafs….hey thanks for reminding me about the REALLY important things in life…like choc brownies…yum : )

    @ Shabash….you’re right about asking, who says it wasn’t right…the fact that one felt it was right for oneself (at some point), should count for something..no ? But then there are others who tell you its not right…. or fate will throw something at you, which forces you to make choices…. you then agonise about it…and try and convince yourself otherwise…instead of fighting for it…. oh well, what will be, will be.

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