Suffering from BAD…and other afflictions

June 2, 2009

So a colleague and I came up with a new mental illness today… well actually she takes most of the credit. Given that we have to deal with some hectic characters at the university on a daily basis, we decided to give  this pathological behaviour a name. Its called BAD or Borderline Academic Disorder. I’m working on putting together a list of symptoms that go with it. But in the interim… heres a list of other (make believe) illnesses, with somewhat cool acronyms. Feel free to add on.

MOM – Mammary Obsessive Madness

RAT – Rubbish Attachment Tendency

FAT – Figure Analysis Trauma

SWAT – Sex With Attitude Temperament

Ok, I better stop before this list degenerates any further.


When words dry up

May 20, 2009

Sometimes words like tears dry up, and one is left looking at a blank space, willing the blackness of characters, symbols and squiggles to appear, but they don’t. There is no real reason why this happens, it just does occasionally. And even if the black symbols do appear, they are not quite what one had hoped for. This is the space that I have been inhabiting for a while. Its not quite writers block, nor is it an inability to say what I want to say.  Perhaps one can describe it more like a retreat from the busy – ness of the written world, inhabited by spell checks, editing tools and peer reviews.

It is not the case that I have not been writing, but it has been a somewhat dislocated and fragmented chiselling of words, that have often produced unfinished and incomplete chunks of roughly sculpted material.

But heres to rediscovering a beautiful piece of artwork hiding within something not quite yet finished.

On Remembering…

December 16, 2008

Memory. Its a powerful aspect of the human condition. The idea that human beings remember, recall, reminisce or reflect on past events, so that they can either savour them or not forget things that will help them to not repeat mistakes. Sadly the latter is something we don’t seem to do very well, while the former is one we sometimes take for granted.

This post is inspired by many recent events happening around me. But perhaps the catalyst is a film I watched recently, called Amu, which documents the story of  the 1984 riots and massacre in Delhi. Hundreds of Sikhs were killed, by Hindu nationalists in a revenge attack for the assasination of Indira Gandhi, whose bodyguard was a Sikh. When the film first came out (2005), there were attempts to suppress it, more particularly by Indian officials, with the argument being made that it is better  to forget such things that  only bring about unpleasantness. Forget ? How convenient.  Its the same argument that gets made by American officials who would be happier if the world forgot about their role in Vietnam and Iraq or the Isreali government, trying to cover up Sabra and Shattilla (amongst dozens of other massacres) or the Saudis wanting us to forget the murder of innocent schoolgirls because of the actions of their police officers. And then theres the whole legacy of European colonialism, slavery, genocide in Germany, Rwanda, Bosnia and elsewhere, and of course apartheid.

These are the atrocities that have been committed by human beings against their own kind. How they get justified through the writing of history is truly an education. Slavery and colonialism have been  justified as the white man “civilising” the savages and beasts of the new world, and bringing “God” to the dark continent. In all of these acts of brutality, God gets implicated a lot of the time. I reckon He’s not too pleased about being blamed for things that humans do, in His name. We need to remember that its people carrying out these violent acts. No where does it say in any of the religious texts that God sanctions the killing of innocents.  

And then there are cases where remembering becomes a reason to kill. A history of persecution and genocide as in the case of the Jewish community has indirectly led to the murder of hundreds of thousands of Palestinians over 6o years, by Israeli fundamentalists who, afraid that they will be “wiped out”, continue to kill people whose own birthright has been stolen from them. Let us remember that it was the Romans that drove the Jews out of Palestine in 70AD and Christian Germans who killed them ruthlessly in the second world war.  The price though gets paid by people who had nothing to do with the historical persecution of the Jewish community, but they are constructed as the ‘enemy’.

When we remember what has passed, it is important to do so without the coloured lens of tribalism, religious affiliations, nationalist sentiments and emotional clutter. While these things give context to our memory, it is important that the truth does not get distorted because of our occasional inability to see the trees from the forests and vice versa.

Remembering is perhaps both a gift and a curse. Either way, we should not forget (excuse the weak attempt at a pun here) the responsibilities that come with it.

On Hibernation …..

December 5, 2008

I have been in hibernation for the last few weeks. It sort of happened, without any real intention, but it was good. It wasn’t quite like bears do it, where they go to sleep for a whole couple of months, and then wake up… but sleeping was a good part of it.

I have during this quiet period, submitted my doctoral thesis as well as come to a few conclusions about many things. I will share some of these conclusions in blogs to come.  For now, I want to reflect on just one.

It has occured to me, that quiet periods in ones life, where one just withdraws from the world, are just as important, as being fully involved in all there is on offer. In a previous blog, I wrote about silences, but quietness is not quite silence. It is simply a process of inner reflection, aquiring clarity and developing a broader perspective on life.

It is something that we should all do at some point, and preferably on more than one occasion. Of course, there is always the inevitable return to the rat race, but hopefully, one is better prepared to negotiate it. I am now going to test this theory.


November 18, 2008

Silence. It is meant by its very nature to be ‘nothing’, not words, not sound, not expressed emotions like crying or laughter, nothing at all. Yet it is something. Because, sometimes when we say nothing or do nothing, we say everything.

Why does silence hold such power ? Is it because it holds the promise, the potential for something, either to be said, done, seen, heard, felt, known, experienced? Or is it because we prefer it, because it commits us to nothing, no responsility, no accountability, no emotion?

Silence. It is nothing, yet it is everything.

Should I…Shouldn’t I … ?

November 8, 2008

So sometimes, I have these moments, where I think about whether I’ve done something I shouldn’t have. Hmmm….actually have lots of those moments, come to think of it. Trouble is, I have a tendency to act with my emotions, gut instinct, sixth sense, etc. Gotta go with what feels true at that moment.

But sometimes, in retrospect, perhaps ones’ gut instinct and being true to oneself can get one into trouble… although it was what felt right at that precise moment. Anyways, as I get older, I’ve realised I don’t feel too much guilt about things I’ve said or done anymore…angst…yes, maybe, guilt….no. Is there a difference ? Hmmm…

Perhaps though the classic saying about discretion should be modified to “discretion is the better part of being true to oneself”. What do you think ?

Yes we (absolutely, most definitely, damn well) can

November 5, 2008

My faith in the human spirit has been restored. Although only time will tell what is yet to unfold, something profound has happened today, with Barack Obama becoming the first black president of the United States.

That is in itself a victory.